British man drives 200 miles to pump his own fecal matter into former friend’s house

A 75-year old British man has been handed an eight week suspended sentence after he plead guilty to using a home-made pump to spray his own excrement into the home of a former friend.

As reported by the Braintree & Witham Times, Geoffrey Holroyd-Doveton was accused of defecating in a container for a period of between six to eight weeks and collecting his feces to use in the attack. He is said to have fashioned a home-made pump, driven 200 miles to the residence of his former friend, and then used that pump to spray his excrement through the letter box slot in the door at the property.

The court was told the damage from the improvised pump caused a cleaning bill of over £4,000 when it was discovered the following day. The judge involved in the case described it as one of the worst offences he had dealt with in over 30 years in the job.

An investigator with the local police department said: “The excrement landed on a carpet, with enough pressure that it also hit the door at the end of the hallway. All the carpet had to be replaced and the walls redecorated due to the quantity of feces.”

There was no discussion of what specific event had caused Holroyd-Doveton to be motivated to take revenge on his former friend. In addition to the suspended sentence, he has also been handed a restraining order to not go within one mile of the property, and must pay the occupants £500 each.